Four Years After
by hxc nerd
Summary: A sad little oneshot about how Peter broke Claire's heart. Paire. Canon. Spoilers up to HTSAEM.


-1Title: Four Years Later

Rating: PG-13  
Summary: A sad fic about Peter and Claire.

A/N: I don't know, I got inspired. This is sad, I'm warning you, but I hope you all like it.

Disclaimer- I own nothing at all.

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Claire sat in her history class at NYU, but wasn't listening to a word her professor was saying. She'd had that dream again last night. She'd be somewhere else for the rest of the day.

It all started when Claire ran into him in the hall of her High School on Homecoming. She thought he was kind of cute, but weird. Weird to be in a High School for seemingly no reason. But really he was there to save her life and suddenly he wasn't so weird anymore.

She asked his name. _Peter._ It was a name that she thought of all of the time. Anyone who said the name made her turn her head.

She flirted with him, and did all the girly things girls do when they like someone. He was older than her, but she _really _didn't care. He flirted back. At least, she thought he had.

About a month or two after, Claire found out that the man she was falling for was her _uncle._ She hated that word from then on. Still though, no matter how taboo it was, it didn't stop her want for him.

Claire didn't know when exactly it was she fell in love with Peter Petrelli. It may have been when he saved her, or smiled at her so sweetly in jail, or touched her cheek when she brought him back to life, or when he wiped her tears away, maybe even when she watched him explode in the sky. She really didn't know. But she knew that somewhere between saving her life and exploding, that she had fallen deeply in love with Peter Petrelli.

Every moment they had together was engrained into her memory. From the sweet ones, to the highly embarrassing. They were all there, no matter how hard she tried to forget them.

Her world shattered when she let her feelings slip out in a fight they were having. Claire couldn't even remember how the fight started. Just that Peter was angry, she was tired of hiding.

She remembered how shocked he looked. But shock quickly turned into anger and Peter had said the words that Claire remembers all too clearly. "_I could never love you."_ She'd been so hurt that she just left and cried so hard she was vomiting.

She was hurt and she was _angry_. You can't help who you love, and she hated that Peter made her feel bad for it. But she didn't hate Peter. She could never hate Peter. No matter what he did, or how badly he hurt her, she didn't hate him. Claire knew that she should, but it just wasn't the case.

Claire hadn't spoken to Peter since. She saw him once at one of Nathan's stupid functions about six months later, but just walked past him. He wisely didn't try to talk to her. He couldn't. He was with a girl and she was giggling as he whispered something in her ear. Claire cried herself to sleep that night.

No one else knew what had happened. They just knew that the once inseparable Peter and Claire, suddenly couldn't even look at each other. But the Petrelli's never asked any questions. Just pushed it under the rug like they did everything else.

After a year that Claire was just angry. She got angry at everything. Not to say she still wasn't, she just didn't hide it as well. After a year of killing herself almost everyday in a variety of ways. She had finally gotten past that, realizing that it wasn't helping and was just messy. But after that year Claire moved on with her life. Peter had moved away, and Claire was working everything she had into graduation.

Now four years later, Claire was going to NYU. She hadn't had a single boyfriend in the entire span of the four years. Zach had come to visit once and told her she wasn't the same. Claire had to fight the tears that were threatening to spill, because she knew exactly why she wasn't the same. She didn't smile anymore. She didn't laugh, or make friends. She wasn't Claire Bennet, and hadn't been for a very long time.

Still living in New York, she went to weekly dinners at the Petrelli home and from listening, had picked up on a few things about Peter. Nathan had said something about him finally cutting all of that hair off. Claire still knew exactly how soft it was. She'd played with it so often, and she missed it. She missed him.

A month ago she had a dream that she saw Peter again. He apologized for everything, and kissed her. They held hands throughout the entire dream and Claire had never been happier. When she woke up to the empty bed, she cried for an hour and a half.

A week ago she found out at one of the dinners that Peter had a kid. Claire choked on her food and actually let out "What?!" Everyone had looked at her. Not once had she ever asked them anything about Peter, or given any input on anything they said about him. They explained to her that yes, he had a kid, and Claire was too shocked to hear the gender or how old. She was too shocked to even be sad. But by a week later she was. _She _wanted to have his kid. She knew she couldn't, but that didn't stop her from wanting it.

Claire had a crush on a guy now, and last night had a dream about him. He flirted with her and even picked her up and sat her on his lap. When she leaned in to kiss him though, he pulled away. She had those dreams whenever she had a crush on any guy. And she always woke up depressed and silent. She didn't want to talk on those days and usually didn't.

She didn't believe that just then in class had she realized what the dream was about. Because she never understood why she was so sad when she just liked the guy in the dream. The guys in the dreams were all just substitutes for Peter. How he flirted with her and led her to believe that he felt the same way, before pulling away and basically telling her 'how dare she?'

Her professor turned to the next slide, and Claire distractedly took a note.

Four years after, it still hurt. Four years after, Claire still thought of him. Four years after, Claire still cried herself to sleep. Four years after, she still fought not to try and kill herself again, if only for the brief darkness that came with it. Four years after, she still asked herself, 'what's wrong with me?'. And four years after, Claire still loved him.

Peter Petrelli didn't know it, but he broke a girl that day. Unknown to Claire, Peter did love her. He was just trying to protect her from having to face that ugly word _incest. _But in the process he projected another burden onto her. That burden was heartbreak.

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